Profile - sofarsogood

I would describe myself as:
ok...having scoured the site and the ladies profiles it seems there is only one real eligible lady on this thing and she is about 80 and has lost her vision and thinks she is on an open university site....otherthan that it doesnt bode well. I have been challenged toa duel to date the said octogenarian and so this may be last entry ( nos exual pun intended).well according to my parole officer, the lads in the cell and the three judges I appeared before, I am a decent type of guy ( for those serious and nervous types the reference to prison is a joke) well spoken, genuine and can make a great chocolate mousse. I have two women fighting for my affections at present..unfortunately they are my nieces and one is 3 and the other is 7 so i guess that doesn't count. I'm 5' 7 very fit and take pride in my appearance but not to any septic degree. I am well educated and can make lego with only the ocassional mistake and only been unfaithful once...when i was 5 and my significant other was 4 and well i was tempted away by an older woman of 5 and 1/2 who had a spare ice lolly! I take serious things seriously and non seriously things with a smile so i hope i'm quite balanced. I can take the mick out of myself, enjoy humour but i'm no clown either( except for aforementioned nieces entertainment only)I am an unashamable romantic and that means being thoughtful, creative and imaginative. I love family and that sense of homeliness but i enjoy nothing more than a weekend break in a foreign city, as i glare through the sun and watch the locals rush past, oblivious to my relaxed presence, me pondering what glorious site to see next and the tasty local morsels that will tempt me en route!! i am a qualified lawyer and school teacher and currently undertaking a degree in psychotherapy to keep the grey cells active as I spent the last two years caring for my terminally ill mum and dad who sadly passed away the last year..the best job I ever had:)....wdnt change a day of it except for spending even more time with them. Material things dont matter to me and having worked in africa, human rights, refugee law etc i can vouch that money and possesions mean very little at the end of the day...that said im no hippy and enjoy some consumerism but im not obsessed by it...if i cant have something i dont cry myself to sleep...im not an envious person as i feel i have alot and im very fortunate to have had the folks i was given:)Not into celeb culture so if you think the lives of a-z lists are meaningful then i am not your type. Infact if i were a dictator my first edict would be to create a camp for all celebs, have them do hard labour and the like....and that includes most glossy magazines and their aficionado readership. I have far more time and admiration for a kid who rummages the dumps in mumbay to eke out a living for his impoverished family than reading two words about some kardashian or whatever that infects our media.I like people with a social conscience and who dont succomb to the distraction of irrelevant trappings. I like the odd luxury but it doesnt define me.

My ideal partner would be:
ok...ive realised a few things about internet dating and I see taxonomies or classifications occuring....just a bit of fun in case i offend any ..especially no.9 supra1) the girls that look photo shopped and invariably are east european or americans living in africa?...i.e...scam....to get poor old gits to send some mafia types a few quid in return for the promise of a fictional romance.2) the serial daters...usually emotionally unavailable and who are addicted to the buzz of the first date and the "new love" feelings. Once they wear off after a few dates the feelings subside and back to the dating scene they go.3) the 'myra hindleys'....the socially and psychologically inept who post fearsome looking and scary pictures of themselves unbeknownst to themselves that they indeed look rather frightening. Usually the picture is video still taken on a laptop camera.4) The "lookers"...those girls that are attractive and their only presence online is to bolster their narcisscism and to see how much mail they get.5) The "celeb romancers"..those who are looking for george clooney or brad pitt lookalikes and mention same in their profiles,but deep down they really are hoping that george or brad will leave their model beaus for a woman who is looking for love online.6) "tall, dark and handsome" types...who's only reference to romance is found in vogue or cosmo and would get highly offended if they say the male equivalent of " blonde, bimbo" articulated in a male's profile but ironically they form part of the same classification as their male counterparts...gender the only difference.7) "The sparks"...those that catapoult the need for a spark...usually they need the impulse of attraction within minutes of meeting the date and usually never find the elusive immediate spark that they once felt in secondary school when they were 16.( i stress "immediate")8) " the prize", the attractive yet understated genuine type that is open to being won. This class is much sought after and has a male version also.9) The " angry"...the deeply wounded and usually has " no creeps need apply" or " no losers"...whihc betrays a certain angst and ire which is mostly likely the result of having dated and being scorned by said loser in the past. 10) "Im beautiful trust me"...the profile with no photo but promises the lure of great beauty to ensnare the curious but usually the self description rarely matches the pronouncement.11) the " hidden beauty"...similar to the above but like finding an armani suit in a bargain bin she is a rarity and very close to 8) above...humble yet shy...12) the " i dont take life seriously" brigade. This person may be tolerable until a trauma occurs like a terminally ill, funeral, issues of world hunger etc. Their not "taking life too seriously" will be either tested in the future when some real life trauma occurs or they will be sociopaths who find humour in the most nefarious scenario....ahem....enough said...also betray a certain immaturity and lack of vision. The "here for a good time not a long time" brigade are an offshut of the i dont take life too seriously cohort. They use this phrase to legitmise their secret love affair with alcohol, hedonism, and debouchery and dont believe in delayed gratification of any sort. They may also fall behind in certain mortgage repayments due to their heady lifestyle.13) The "i've just come back from oz" type....who try too hard to bore us with the fact that they went abroad when must people unless you have been in a coma, prison, live in leitrim, have in fact travelled outside ireland and find people telling them they have travelled to so many places as pleasurable as viewing their holiday snaps on a slide show to the music of nationwide's theme music on rte1.14) the "nice" profile. The jewel in the crown of internet dating. Often cursed due to it's rarity but also the fact that it's acquaintence brings that fix of adrenalin only known by cra

My ideal date would be:
with someone decent ...mature and sexyan amalgamation of the following: the legs of my old action man from the 70s ( very plyable and durable), the figure of the statue of the venus de milo ( arms are optional), the teeth of lassie the dog ( always had a fine pair of dentures), the hands of ernie( of ernie and bert..i love the wooly feel), the stomach of the buddha ( kind of cuddly), the face of disneys snow white ( preferably in colour), the voice of barry white on helium though ( more feminine) and the intellect of dail eireannbecause of the recession we may have to sit around a pot hole with a straw and drink some rain water....but only if our respective parish priests come to make sure all is above board because I can be shy at times especially in the presence of a pretty lady...by the way, the wife and kids havent had a decent day out in ages so if it's ok can i bring them too?things are so static at the mo i even managed to go on a date with a mannequin from debenhams...i did all the talking which was a bit boring....the night went so well i asked for her hand...so i brought it home with me